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Big Time
MAGICMOUTH Humor
There's a crazy person running loose - MAGICMOUTH
from Magic Billiards Academy in Newfane, New York.
MAGICMOUTH'S name is
Lawrence Croisdale.
Croisdale captured (that means STOLE) this whole webpage,
with all my
pictures, and put it on his own kindergarten garbage website.
I
called the number which was shown on his website to politely ask why he copied
my page.
His wife, or whoever answered, asked for my
name and number, and said she'd have the owner call me back.
He
called back pretty quickly. His threats of violence started
immediately, so I recorded the call.
Croisdale is so far off the wall, even the deputy sheriff who listened to
the recording was able to
tell he wasn't straight. Drugs, drunk, or both - no
question.
Croisdale
runs off at the mouth -
he can't shut up.
It's too bad
somebody doesn't train him to
do THAT little "magic trick". I'd offer to do it, but
I'd end up in prison.
I decline, thank you.
He loves the sound of
his own voice, and changes his stories from one second to the next,
makes up more lies, then can't even keep up with his own lies.
You'll DEFINITELY hear that, below.
I think he's borderline INSANE, too!
Croisdale
asked if I have a COPYRIGHT from Brunswick to put pictures of
MY
OWN POOL TABLE on MY website!
The moron wanted to
know if it was MY pool table! Whose table do you think
it was?
(No,
moron - it's not my pool table. I walked into Tampa
Police Department one day, saw that nice Gold Crown table, put it in
my pocket, and walked right out the door with it.)
Do I need a
"copyright" from Ford to put pictures of my Ford van on my website?
How
about a "copyright" from Tad, to put some pictures of my Tad cues on my webpage?
At the end of the first
conversation, his threats escalated to "ready to come after you,
man".
(No, moron - you come, the deputies take you
away.)
If you want to listen to
Croisdale on the phone, 12/06/2008,
CLICK
CALL 1. Not content to make a
complete asshole of himself once,
he called again -
CLICK CALL 2. This
is MAGICMOUTH Lawrence Croisdale!
MAGICMOUTH is becoming a legend
in the W. New York world of billiards.
And - funnier yet - I'm getting
plenty of emails and phone calls about "magic" Croisdale.
He's been voted "Moron of the Year" in most of the W. New York pool leagues.
There's no question - MAGICMOUTH is one popular moron. People
love him so much, they're even having shirts made!
The picture above came with this message. I substituted ?
for the person's name.
"?
wore this shirt to The "Magic Mouths" weekly Monday night pool
league. A bunch of people copied the website down. Everybody
thought it was hilarious !! Larry was speechless, and he looked
like he was gonna be sick all night. He didn't talk to anybody the
whole time we were there...lol. That shut him up for once." |
This message came in a few days ago. I
might have to put the whole collection in here soon. |
Your the big talk of the town here in
Western New York!
Thanks so much for putting Larry out
on the line! All of us billiard freaks here are having a ball
laughing at Larry! Its about time someone put him in his
place! I have known Larry for 13 years now, and still trying
to figure out why I just can't stand him....LOL.
I feel for ya, sorry he took your site
info and put it off as his own....sounds typical of Larry!
Your site is amazing, looks like you
know your stuff =] Wishing you many years of Billiard
Happiness!!
Thanks again, from MANY pool leaguers
here in WNY!
|
As Keith McCready said in 'The Color Of Money' - "It's like a
nightmare, isn't it? It just keeps getting worse and worse."
|
HERE'S A CUSTOM TAD CUE FOR
SALE
SOLD
HERE'S WHAT YOU MISSED
Original
TAD (Tad Kohara) custom cue from 1976. The story:
In
1975, I bought 5 cues from Tad within a few weeks. His shop, in Stanton
or Garden Grove, (they're basically the same place) was about
two miles from my home in Anaheim. All the early cues I
bought were Tad's basic, plain design, (shown below in the Tad
advertisement picture as #8), but they all had inlaid rings
above and below the joint. (Just like the custom cue
below.) I gave one away as a gift to a close friend, sold
three over the years, and still have one left - this is the cue
I've always played with. If I ever play again, it's the
cue I'll use.
Back then, Tad
was a cranky craftsman, and didn't like people hanging around.
He tolerated me in his shop, asking questions, watching, maybe
because he knew I was playing / recording music, he heard me on the
radio sometimes, and saw me on TV once or twice. He even came up to my recording studio
a few times, and tape playback almost deafened him, but he
seemed to like the music.
I made him
laugh, telling him I had TWO jobs: I was the keyboard player and
the military advisor for Ike and Tina. We weren't
counting off songs - we were calling out bomb coordinates for
the next explosions. You had to work at it to make Tad
laugh - he probably thought I was crazy.
I bought my
first real custom cue in 1976. It was the same design,
same weight, colors, and shafts as the one I'm now selling,
(shown below in the Tad advertisement picture as #1). The
one I'm selling has some slight differences: on the first one,
the pearl diamond inlays had notches, and the dots were inlaid
one above and one below the diamond in the points.
That first
custom cue was stolen in Los Angeles within a few weeks.
Immediately, I went to Tad to order another one just like it,
but with a very
subtle difference. I wanted to be able to recognize my cue
anywhere if it was ever stolen again. We discussed this
and concluded: no notched diamonds, and both dots above
the diamond in the points. (refer to the photos and you'll
see this) He had to make the solid
diamonds specifically for me - eight of them. I believe this is really
a TAD "one of one", because of this subtle design change.
As you can
see, ebony four point, four windows. Black, blue, purple,
and maple inlays around the points and windows. No CNC
milling, no computers. All hand made - I sat right there
and watched him with the Xacto knife in the points and windows.
I even indexed the lathe tool for him.
The shafts are
12.75 mm, with ivory ferrules. Everything is absolutely
straight and solid. This cue has never been refinished or
rewrapped. It's barely been used, although some lacquer
has come off of the pearl inlays, stainless joint, and the butt
piece. I suppose that's expected after this time, lacquer
didn't stick very well back then, except over wood. I took
the worst pictures intentionally, which show the
missing lacquer. No dents or dings anywhere. It's
spent the majority of its life in the embossed
maroon Fellini case, which is in excellent condition and
included in the sale.
MAKE A FAIR OFFER - IT'S READY TO SHIP
|
Some
of the world's luckiest Hammonds and Leslies lived
in a 25' x 20' room with a
9' Brunswick Gold Crown IV
The
Gold Crown is world known as the de facto standard tournament table.
It's the only table in the Brunswick line that is assembled at the
factory, milled perfectly flat, then numbered and disassembled for
boxing and shipment. To assemble it properly, you must match up
the numbers at all the frame intersections. And you better have a
BIG rubber mallet.
The
fun started with 11 cardboard shipping boxes and 3 slates - total
weight, around 1000 lbs. Later, another 4 or 5 cartons, containing
the ball returns, new pockets, and ball collection box arrived.
Surprisingly, the cartons and slates fit easily in a standard, full size
van - a huge truck wasn't necessary at all. Using a really neat
"slate dolly", even those heavy slates moved easily enough.
Once
the boxes were unpacked, the real fun began. I'd
been anticipating building this table for weeks.
I laid
out all the components, and couldn't find assembly instructions
anywhere! But it became perfectly clear, after moving the parts around
for awhile, that instructions weren't really needed at all. The assembly of the frame and other components is really self-explanatory.
The
assembly hardware is massive. Most of the frame bolts are 3/4".
The weight and dimensions of the frame components are amazing - this is
one SOLID table!
As
you'll see in the pictures below, dowels are also used in the frame
construction, and they're the biggest diameter I've ever seen in my
life. They resemble broom handles.
I did
all the construction, and hired a professional table mechanic to help me
set and align the slates properly, and cover it in Simonis 860
cloth. I wanted to participate in each step of the alignment and
covering.
With
only a few exceptions: the ball return tracks, small brackets to help
support the ball collection box, corner skirt brackets, and the bridge
holders under the table, there are no wood screws used in a
Gold Crown IV. All connections are done with machine bolts,
metal to metal connections that can really be tightened.
A
great feature of the Gold Crown IV is the slate leveling system.
There are 22 slate levelers built into the frame. Adjusting the 3
pieces of slate to perfectly match each other is unbelievably simple to
do, especially with 2 people - one on top with the straight edge,
the other underneath with a screwdriver.
Previously, table mechanics had to use shims, such as playing cards, to
bring the three pieces of slate into level alignment with each other.
"Level" may be the wrong word to use here - I'm actually
referring to flatness or straightness, relative to the adjacent piece of
slate.
The
slate levelers require very little adjustment to move the slate a couple
thousandths of an inch. Because the frame is milled so accurately
flat, the slates are almost perfectly flat when they're laid on the
frame. Most of the adjusters on my own table weren't even needed.
Once
all three slates are truly straight and flat with each other, melted wax
is poured into the two seams, and allowed to harden. Then the
excess is scraped off with a razor knife and the whole area is smoothed.
After this process, all three slates are perfectly aligned with each
other, with no seams to affect ball travel. The table isn't level
at this point, but the three slates are now as straight and flat as one
piece.
Covering is a very interesting art in itself. Some table mechanics
use contact cement, others use an electric stapler, some use both, and
they all swear their way is the right way. In any
event, the cloth must be pulled tightly and evenly
across the slates. Small cuts are made at the pockets, and the
cloth is folded and laid so the end results are smooth. Tiny
wrinkles sometimes show up, usually right near pockets, and these must
be pulled out and stapled. Simonis cloth really tends to show
small wrinkles, where other types of cloth seem to hide them.
Covering cushions is an art in itself. It begins by "locking" the
cloth to the the rails with precisely tapered wooden strips, known as
"feather strips". Then the excess cloth is trimmed carefully.
Next, the cloth is folded over the feather strips, stretched around the
rubber cushions, and stapled to the bottom of the rails. This
really requires an experienced hand, since the tightness of the cloth is
directly relative to how "fast" the cushions will play, and the mechanic
must be sure that all six cushions react the same way.
Leveling the entire table comes after covering. Leveling begins
with long bubble levels, but the final level is done by rolling balls to
observe by eye if they come to rest correctly. After the table
"settles" for a few weeks, some minor adjustments will almost always be
required for level, especially on a carpeted floor.
It was
very enjoyable to measure out the room, and find the exact center for
the base of the table. I knew precisely where the light would have
to be hung, and tried to get the table perfectly located
underneath it. After assembling the table and suspending the
light, it appears I'm about 1/8" out of perfect lineup - or the wall
is.
That's
the reason I miss so many shots - it has nothing to do with my skill.
Really. I could easily beat Keith McCready - with one hand - if
that corner of the table was just 1/8" closer to the wall. Ask
Buddy Hall if you don't believe me. (This is a joke,
y'all.)
The
new Gold Crown IV has an exceptional feature: "lazy susan" style
levelers. The feet are actually heavy castings, threaded to huge
bolts which are turned to raise or lower the table. With the
Gold Crown IV, there is a shallow "cup" under each foot which
contains ball bearings. They're practically invisible, unless
you're looking for them.
It
only requires a simple twist of the wrist to level the table. It's
so easy, a five year old child could raise or lower it effortlessly.
Previously, one had to physically raise the table off the floor to
adjust a foot. The pool table mechanic actually went out to his
truck to bring in a car jack to level the table! He was
amazed when I showed him the "lazy susan" leveling feet - he had never
seen them before.
Every
pool table needs a light, so I designed one and had it made of solid
mahogany, with angles to exactly match the table skirts, and corner
radius. It uses four 8' tubes, and really illuminates the
playing surface. I ran into one problem with the plastic diffuser
pieces - I needed pieces more than 24" wide, and had to have them
specially cut. But they were inexpensive, and the problem was
solved in an hour.
I also
designed and built a wall mounted scorekeeper, so I can easily keep
track of just how far behind I am. It's always good to know when
you can't possibly catch up. Why delude yourself?
Balls
get chalk dust and hand oils on them. I found and rebuilt a
commercial ball cleaner. This thing works just great - it spins
the balls at about 500 mph, and times out automatically after about 5
minutes. It can be used with window washer fluid, ball cleaning
liquid, or dry, depending on the condition of the balls. I
replaced all the felt in the ball cleaner with an old felt generator pad
from an X-77. The felt is very dense - about 1/4" thick, and I cut
it up in strips to fit each of the holes for the balls.
Brunswick Centennials
are the world standard, and the set that I use regularly. I also
bought a set of Aramith Super Pros as spares. They're
identical to the Centennials with a slightly different style of number.
The
Hammonds, Leslies, and Gold Crown IV seem to get along fine in
their own humidity controlled room.