Sometimes, we get cards and letters - sometimes people ask us, "Why are you begging for money on the TV every Sunday morning?  Why don't you sell some of your hotels, your yachts, your cars and limousines?"  They say, "Sell your gold, diamonds, and jewelry!" 

Well, that's very easy for them to say, because they don't have any of these things. 

To these people, I'd like to say, "Are you crazy??  Do you think we're fools??  We're not selling our hotels, the jets, or the yachts!!  How do you expect us to live without them?"

Recently, we've also gotten some calls asking for refunds. 

I'll have you know that I resent that, our staff resents that, the Angels resent that, and even the dogs resent that.  Surely you people could have sent us a larger donation for better results.  May I suggest you call in immediately and pledge at least a few thousand? 

And if there are any refunds, I will be the very first one in line.

FLUFFY

click the pictures and see for yourself

Many people don't know it, but I'm the Greatest Dog Trainer Of All Time.  Who else but ME could possibly train their dogs and Fluffy, our 3 year old male polar bear mix, to play together peacefully? 

Fluffy was definitely a mix breed:  half Malinois, half polar bear.  These pictures show the proof - just look at his head, it's obvious he is half Malinois.  We took these pictures to prove what REAL dog training is all about. 

Fluffy v. Haus Polar (I named him myself) was trained for his Schutzhund I, but all the political smartasses wouldn't permit us to enter him in a trial.  They gave some ridiculously wild excuses about him being too rough on helpers.  I think that was absurd.  Who cares whether or not Fluffy looks like a German Shepherd or a Malinois?  At least he didn't look like a Fatweiler!  So what if he was a little overweight?  He was losing plenty of weight as the weather got warmer.  What difference does that make?  Fluffy was bathed, groomed, and his claws were trimmed regularly. 

So what if he was unregistered?  Plenty of unregistered dogs get their Schutzhund degrees - why not Fluffy?  The point is, Fluffy was ready for competition, and there was no reason not to issue him his scorebook.   

Fluffy tracked slowly, methodically, on a slack line.  He tracked with a deep nose, and indicated articles reliably.  Occasionally, he'd lay on the article, but it was no problem to reach under him to get it.  His tracking work was much better than most of the dogs I've seen at most trials.

His obedience was astounding.  Once he got up to speed, Fluffy cleared the jump by at least 48 inches.  His send away was also incredible.  Some people thought he was slow to down, but that's preposterous.  His body english clearly showed he was beginning to down, but his momentum often carried him an extra 75-100 yards, and we had to plan for that in advance.  He couldn't just jam on the brakes like many dogs can.  Fluffy took down a lot of fences with the send away exercise. 

Occasionally he rolled around a little on the long down, but I was training that out of him.  He didn't constantly wag his tail like a lot of dogs do, but that's because his tail was only a few inches long - he hardly had a tail to wag.  His ears were always up - Fluffy had great attitude. 

In the beginning of his training, Fluffy turned over the jump the first few times.  He demolished the scaling wall once.  Some welded titanium bracing fixed that quickly enough.  It's true that Fluffy could sometimes be hard on standard wooden dumbbells, mostly he crushed them.  So we built a special one for him out of stainless steel.  He really only needed one, because it weighed 86 pounds.  That's far more than any official Schutzhund dumbbell requirement.

Fluffy could be pretty tough on a sleeve bite, but he was clean, outed perfectly, and did a great hold and growl.  You could hear him growl 4 blocks away.  We had some special, steel reinforced sleeves made, specifically for Fluffy.  We have a sense of humor, so instead of calling them "Frabos", we called them "Fluffies". 

I'll explain something: I trained him to lay down on the hold and growl.  Standing up on his hind legs, he was about 12 feet tall.  We did not want him doing all that jumping, leaping, and growling at the blind.  Laying down, his head was just above sleeve height.  We always trained thinking of safety first, but we couldn't find a helper in America to do a courage test with Fluffy, so I just trained him myself.  Those official "Schutzhund sticks" with all the padding were simply bizarre.  Fluffy took stick hits with 1/2" solid steel rod, and never even dreamed of coming off the bite. 

Fluffy could have made the World Nationals if they just gave us one chance.  I think we were both treated unfairly.  The very least they could have done was let him enter a trial and see for themselves.  They were totally absurd.

All the stories you've read about Fluffy are ridiculous.  Fluffy never killed a helper, like all those internet messages claim.  Now it's time for the truth.  The real story behind those rumors is that the helper fell down, and Fluffy landed on top of him. 

Fluffy stayed on the bite.  What was he supposed to do?  Come off and wait for the helper to escape again?  I should know, because I was right there watching.  It was only a little 20 yard escape bite.  Everybody knows that this happens - helpers fall down sometimes.  It is true that the helper had a broken spine and he's been in a wheelchair ever since, but that's expected when you can't stand up to a 1080 pound polar bear mix during a simple little escape bite.  It was NOT Fluffy's fault - the helper should have done a normal escape, and stayed on his feet.  Fluffy did not trip the helper - he fell down all by himself. 

The fact is, Elvin, the helper, always loved Fluffy, and Fluffy adored him.  You can see that in the picture below.  Before the terrible accident happened, Elvin would play bowling ball with Fluffy, and they had plenty of fun together.  Fluffy loved retrieving bowling balls, even though he smashed all of them.  When Elvin used to come over in his wheelchair, Fluffy would gently lay his chin on Elvin's lap, and Elvin would scratch his ears and muzzle.  

Elvin's visits ended abruptly one day when Fluffy demolished his wheelchair, turning it into scrap metal.  Fluffy leaned a little too hard on Elvin's lap - he was moaning and falling asleep - and the wheelchair folded up around Elvin, then it disintegrated.  Even the wheels looked like pretzels.  I called the Fire Department, and thankfully, with their special Jaws of Life tools, they were able to extract Elvin from the wreckage.  Now Elvin lives in another state.  He calls on the phone, and he still sends his best to Fluffy all the time.

	This is Fluffy and Elvin when we started training.  It's positive proof how much they loved each other.
	Here's Fluffy standing up tall.
	Fluffy is playing with one of our dogs, Snowball.
	Anyone can see that Fluffy was a sweetheart.  He adored all our dogs.
	Fluffy relaxing.
	Here's Fluffy in the water.  He liked swimming, so we built him a pool.
	Just look at this.  A face of pure love.

Schutzhund might have been out of the question, but we kept right on training.

One of the most beautiful sights in the world was Fluffy's "Spin 'N Out".  With a secret hand command, Fluffy would make the bite, and snatch the helper off the ground, up above his head.  He'd spin around on his hind legs until the helper was crosseyed, and do 12-18 bounces with his front paws, just like those lowrider cars do.  Sometimes that rattled the helper's brains and skeletal system a little.  Fluffy had those Hoo-Lee-Oh lowriders beat all to hell.  When's the last time YOU saw a lowrider bounce up on the rear bumper and spin?  Fluffy could do it all day long. 

 

When the "Out" command was given, Fluffy would wave a paw as if to say "OK", gently lower the helper to the ground, and drop right into a perfect hold and growl.  Many, many helpers paid for the joy of Fluffy's "Spin 'N Out" - it was far better than any ride at Disneyland.

 

Fluffy had another secret hand command for those disrespectful, wiseass, macho badguys.  We didn't put up with 350 pound bigmouth assholes.  I never told anybody about this, but I'll admit it now.  Fluffy knew the "Toss" command, too.  That's when he would toss the wiseass about 40 or 50 feet through the air, then rush in for his down, hold and growl.  I don't remember any wiseass ever needing a second toss, especially if Fluffy threw them at pavement, a building, or a car.  I trained him never, ever to throw a wiseass at a moving car - the risk was just too great. 

 

The best toss Fluffy ever did was when he threw a smartass through a car windshield.  He came out through the back window of the car, then rolled on the pavement for about 200 yards at about 80 mph.  When we helped him up on his feet, he apologized to Fluffy for his wiseass remarks.  Like a true gentleman, Fluffy shook his hand.